We don’t always realize how much our earliest years wired us to understand love—how every interaction, every moment of warmth or neglect, became a lesson.
The way we were comforted (or weren’t). The way our feelings were met (or dismissed). The way safety was offered (or withheld). It all shaped what we expect from love, what we tolerate, and what we chase.
It’s why so many of us still ask: Do I have to earn love? Does it disappear when I get it wrong? Can I trust the people closest to me, or will they leave, shut down, or lash out?
And to be clear, this isn’t about shaming parents. It’s not even for them. I know many of you read these and think, "My parents would just laugh and move on."
But these statements are *for you.* To show you that you weren’t imagining things. That it did hurt. That you deserved protection. That someone—anyone—should have been on your side. source
The way we were comforted (or weren’t). The way our feelings were met (or dismissed). The way safety was offered (or withheld). It all shaped what we expect from love, what we tolerate, and what we chase.
It’s why so many of us still ask: Do I have to earn love? Does it disappear when I get it wrong? Can I trust the people closest to me, or will they leave, shut down, or lash out?
And to be clear, this isn’t about shaming parents. It’s not even for them. I know many of you read these and think, "My parents would just laugh and move on."
But these statements are *for you.* To show you that you weren’t imagining things. That it did hurt. That you deserved protection. That someone—anyone—should have been on your side. source
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We don’t always realize how much our earliest years wired us to understand love—how every interaction, every moment of warmth or neglect, became a lesson.
The way we were comforted (or weren’t). The way our feelings were met (or dismissed). The way safety was offered (or withheld). It all shaped what we expect from love, what we tolerate, and what we chase.
It’s why so many of us still ask: Do I have to earn love? Does it disappear when I get it wrong? Can I trust the people closest to me, or will they leave, shut down, or lash out?
And to be clear, this isn’t about shaming parents. It’s not even for them. I know many of you read these and think, "My parents would just laugh and move on."
But these statements are *for you.* To show you that you weren’t imagining things. That it did hurt. That you deserved protection. That someone—anyone—should have been on your side. source
The way we were comforted (or weren’t). The way our feelings were met (or dismissed). The way safety was offered (or withheld). It all shaped what we expect from love, what we tolerate, and what we chase.
It’s why so many of us still ask: Do I have to earn love? Does it disappear when I get it wrong? Can I trust the people closest to me, or will they leave, shut down, or lash out?
And to be clear, this isn’t about shaming parents. It’s not even for them. I know many of you read these and think, "My parents would just laugh and move on."
But these statements are *for you.* To show you that you weren’t imagining things. That it did hurt. That you deserved protection. That someone—anyone—should have been on your side. source
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