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I channel Kali sometimes. (I am not a Hindu and when I say channel I do not mean I pray for her guidance).
But I actively think about her at times that I need to be angry. It is important to be angry at times. Angry feels like an understatement. I am actually usually angry. It is important to be furious.
I imagine Kali in the story. She found herself in a battlefield where a devil's spilled blood sprang up more demons making killing him an impossible task. She emerged in a cycle that is frustrating. Cycles generally are frustrating but a specifically frustrating cycle this one.
She stormed into the battlefield very furious. She killed the demons and drank the blood of the original one before it could touch the ground. Finally winning.
It is not a pretty scene. It is a bit disturbing and messy.
Being furious in an attempt to break a cycle is as disturbing and messy too. And the difficult part is you might also have to face the dark parts of yourself and be a little humiliated.
Kali's dance of destruction got out of hand and she continued shedding blood until Shiva stepped up. And she hangs her toungue out in shame.
Somebody I used to know told me channeling Kali is a tricky thing cause you pay the consequences. And she couldn't be more right. Whether we admit it or not we have a big share of our own misery and repetitive cycles. It is humiliating to discover that. But it is also necessary.
I see more than a few cycles going on in my life. Be it in my personal life or professional. I am thinking about Kali a lot now. I am about to take some extreme measures that will probably make me face my own darkness and faults. I am about to let the unruled part of me rule for a while.
Because... what the fuck?
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