A Pen For Pain

I can never talk enough about the beaut of a child’s mind not the teenage years but the pure form of a child capable of many things, growing up i went to a catholic school with catholic church inside the compound and even when i belonged to different religion, the little girl i used to be never failed to go to the church every morning. with little to no notion about the concept of God i went in every morning and did the routines, and those 10 minute sessions before school still remains to be my favorite feeling to this day, now the routines were basic after arriving to school a maximum of 4 or 5 of us obviously girls goes into the church then we will dip our hands in the holy waters at the gate , now another thing i remember well is the aroma inside the temple it was how i imagined heaven will smell like, rays would come in the colorful windows and there was majestic statues of saints on every corner, for an 11 year old it was clear the temple is an exact replica of heaven, enjoying the heavenly smell and view we would walk in and find a sit we usually kneel and do our prayers i doubt none of us actually prayed but once everyone finishes their “prayer” the fun begins! We would look around we would look up we would look down there was so much to look but so little time, the candles lit up in a row in front of the big virgin Mary drawing was the peak of it all, now wait this is were the real story begins the root for all this narration i just did is the candles! The candles we used to take out with our bare hands, the fire we swished our fingers through and not feel the slightest burn all because we were all convinced if hands are dipped in the holy water at the gate no fire would harm you, in fact you can take out a candle by pinching the fire between your thumb and index finger, this is the peak of the story I’m trying to tell, the faith of a child that believed in the “if this then that”. now back then it was nothing but now as a 21 year old i could go back to that same old church dip my hands in the holy water but i can never bring myself to touch a flaming fire, 10 years have passed and i don’t remember where i lost my unshakable faith or my inner child that was not afraid to take out a fire, i couldn’t remember the very first time i overthought about something because 10 years ago there wasn’t a single bone in me that thought what if i get burned, there wasn’t a single doubt in me when i ran around with my friends taking out every candle in sight, and as i sat writing all of this i wondered when did i stop being that child ? How did that girl i used to be got replaced with this one that plays out all the things that could go wrong ?

www.tgoop.com/HealYourPain/1582

1.3K viewsAfomia, Sep 17, 2022 at 06:16

I can never talk enough about the beaut of a child’s mind not the teenage years but the pure form of a child capable of many things, growing up i went to a catholic school with catholic church inside the compound and even when i belonged to different religion, the little girl i used to be never failed to go to the church every morning. with little to no notion about the concept of God i went in every morning and did the routines, and those 10 minute sessions before school still remains to be my favorite feeling to this day, now the routines were basic after arriving to school a maximum of 4 or 5 of us obviously girls goes into the church then we will dip our hands in the holy waters at the gate , now another thing i remember well is the aroma inside the temple it was how i imagined heaven will smell like, rays would come in the colorful windows and there was majestic statues of saints on every corner, for an 11 year old it was clear the temple is an exact replica of heaven, enjoying the heavenly smell and view we would walk in and find a sit we usually kneel and do our prayers i doubt none of us actually prayed but once everyone finishes their “prayer” the fun begins! We would look around we would look up we would look down there was so much to look but so little time, the candles lit up in a row in front of the big virgin Mary drawing was the peak of it all, now wait this is were the real story begins the root for all this narration i just did is the candles! The candles we used to take out with our bare hands, the fire we swished our fingers through and not feel the slightest burn all because we were all convinced if hands are dipped in the holy water at the gate no fire would harm you, in fact you can take out a candle by pinching the fire between your thumb and index finger, this is the peak of the story I’m trying to tell, the faith of a child that believed in the “if this then that”. now back then it was nothing but now as a 21 year old i could go back to that same old church dip my hands in the holy water but i can never bring myself to touch a flaming fire, 10 years have passed and i don’t remember where i lost my unshakable faith or my inner child that was not afraid to take out a fire, i couldn’t remember the very first time i overthought about something because 10 years ago there wasn’t a single bone in me that thought what if i get burned, there wasn’t a single doubt in me when i ran around with my friends taking out every candle in sight, and as i sat writing all of this i wondered when did i stop being that child ? How did that girl i used to be got replaced with this one that plays out all the things that could go wrong ?

BY A Pen For Pain